I sometimes I have this horrible feeling where everyone is laughing at a joke, and I’m the only one who doesn’t get the joke. It is such a bummer to have everyone having a good time around you and for you to be the only one who has a blank expression (I’ve mastered the art of the blank smile). It’s not that I have no idea what’s going on. I can tell people are joking around and enjoying each other’s company. I would do the same if my language skills were better, but they just aren’t there yet.
In a big group, there comes a point where I stop paying attention. I try and try but then when people keep showing up and multiple conversations are happening all around me, I get overwhelmed and close up. It is my own choice to do that, sure. It is just a challenge to reach that level of fluency. I am beginning, though. Thoughts are starting to come to me more freely. I know I am still making ton of mistakes, but at some point, I have to stop caring and just TRY.
Sure I get nervous, and then when I realize how nervous I am, then it becomes harder to communicate. In times like these I remember my brother, who will just HOG the airwaves if he has to. He never took a formal class in Spanish, but what he has learned on his travels is amazing. The key to his success is just trying and going for it. He doesn’t care he might not be getting every conjugation correct. He just tries and ends up succeeding because he goes for it.
Sorry no photos on this post. I could take a photo of my blank smile, but I do that enough as it is. No need to be reminded of it.